天空灰的像哭过 离开你以后 并没有更自由 酸酸的空气 嗅出我们的距离 一幕锥心的结局 像呼吸般无法停息 抽屉泛黄的日记 榨干了回忆 那笑容是夏季你我的过去 被顺时针的忘记 缺氧过后的爱情 粗心的眼泪是多余 我知道你我都没有错 只是忘了怎么退后 信誓旦旦给的承诺 却被时间扑了空 我知道我们都没有错 只是放手会比较好过 最美的爱情回忆里待续...

天空灰的像哭过 离开你以后 并没有更自由 酸酸的空气 嗅出我们的距离 一幕锥心的结局 像呼吸般无法停息 抽屉泛黄的日记 榨干了回忆 那笑容是夏季你我的过去 被顺时针的忘记 缺氧过后的爱情粗心的眼泪是多余 我知道你我都没有错 只是忘了怎么退后 信誓旦旦给的承诺 却被时间扑了空 我知道我们都没有错 只是放手会比较好过 最美的爱情回忆里待续...

我知道我们都没有错 只是放手会比较好过 最美的爱情回忆里待续（相信你我还会有开始只因我们都没有错)

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 9:29 AM

Phew. Finally. I'm back to my old self, after Kaiser's being ranting all day long about that post. (Btw it's saved in drafts, so dun bother finding it.)

Hmm, anyway. In case some of u (well in fact most of u didn't noe), I've got a split personality. (NONO.. pls dun think of me going to psychologists or smth liddat. I find it scary.. =S) That is, the typical self, and the Yami self (Kaiser & EXWargreymon). Seriously speaking, without my yami self, I won't be able to hold on until now. Frankly speaking, I'm a weak person, as in I do not have much determination and mental strength. Last year was a hell year for me, considering the fact that I've been skipping lessons to go NUS for advanced placement programme (which I seriously didn't regret going =) ) It was Kaiser, who encouraged me to go on... His determination's wad I've nv seen be4. I also have to thank him and EXWargreymon for helping me while I'm taking my Fmaths paper 1 for 'A' levels.

However, that has its side effects too. Well, Kaiser, EXWargreymon and I have been coping with the darker side of me, which has been growing stronger by the minute. It's not a force to be reckoned with. It's a region that once it possesses u, there's no way out. I have to do something to stop it. Well, that is, with the help of my 2 inner selves.

I found out tt I could hardly trust most ppl, except my nakamas. Especially recently. I dun really noe y. (Probably due to brainwashing by my dad and some stupid hk show which I find it applicable to today's life.) Indeed, in today's society, it is really hard to accept ppl easily, and trust them. One moment, they seem to be good buddies, and the next, they backstab.

That's precisely why my darker side aims to be evil, to counter well. I agree, but it's too extreme, in the sense that this darker side of me do not trust anyone.

However, upon careful consideration, I decided to include a selective part of my darker side, Kaiser, EXWargreymon and me, merging into one.

I want to be stronger. Serious. I found that my old self to be too weak, even to survive in today's society. Cruel but true.

I was too indecisive in the past. I want to be a more responsible, more decisive, and more evil, in the sense that I do not want to be too soft-hearted. Anymore.

Meanwhile, I will continue my battle with my inner darker side, and I believe that the battle will never be easy. Probably until the fateful day comes.

My nakamas juz told me tt my tong2 zhen1 is my characteristic, and asked me not to lose it when I go NS. While I was flattered by their comments (face slightly red >.<), I dare not really guarantee tt. Throughout my JC life, I finally realised what's out there for me. It was not wad I expected when I was in secondary school. And I'm gonna experience the first bit of tt when I'm in NS.

And it is not as good as it seems sometimes.

Betrayal. Selfishness. Backstab (though I'm not the victim). I've experienced everything. In my JC life. It can be scary at times.

I realised that the world is developing much faster than I expected. I could not longer hold tt stupid mentality of mine. I'm not the guy who thinks that the world revolves around me anymore.

And that's more to only these. (But I shall not continue any longer.)

I'm juz like a white clean sheet of paper, that has been darkened with the pencil of society over a short period of time. And it will continue, cos frankly speaking, I'm still uncertain how the society's like, and my clean sheet of paper will be darkened even more. What I met is probably the tip of an iceberg.

Though I'm still the happy-go-lucky person as my nakamas have known me, but it's nv gonna be the same again.

Alright.. random entry. Garrrr...

From,
James

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 12:19 AM

Sometimes things can get so complicated and frustrated that you feel like giving up. But still, I told myself, since things have reached to such a stage, y not fight on the battle? It's not 100% that you will lose? Hahahahaha.

Anyway, the other day I submitted my FIREfly scholarship application form without checking my resume. Now I just hope I can get the interview. -fingers crossed-

Brightsparks's misleading, that is to say. Blah. FIREfly scholarship application phase 1? My foot. Isn't it the same as most scholarship app deadlines? >.<

Alright. Still got a few more to go. Hmm, but seem to be at a standstill now. Grr..

Eh, was rather enthralled by the Shell scholarship though. Hmm, have to apply for the university first before applying for scholarship. Well, I can't, that is. Cos it's like starting from 2007 latest. Wat the... Blah. Have to wait for 2 more years in NS.

Seriously speaking, Imperial College is a damn good choice to study chemical engineering. =D C'mon. Toto strike I straightaway go after ns le. LOL.

Going to some Police schlship talk tml.

Feeling rather vexed now. Dunno y.

Lastly, I have to thank Mr Goh for helping me. =D Eh, went back to sch today to fill up my testimonial form. Then went up to staff room to call him. Hmm, agreed quite readily, and gave me some advice lol. =)

Thanks. =)

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 10:00 PM

ME.
100% male.
Happy-go-lucky 18+++.
Serving the country, 2 years of our time.
KaIsEr JaMeS a.k.a. DaRk LoRd.
3 sides, the Norm, the Dark and the Hollow.
The Hollow side of Kaiser must never surface.
likes/dislikes... likes:
-My family! =)
-My nakamas!
Dislikes:
-Self-proclaimed elitists
-Hypocrites